|yet another tragedy of me.
||[May. 18th, 2005|01:14 pm]
i dont if any of you guys watch the news. but.
im not looking for sympathy. i dont need a bunch of comments saying how sorry you all are about this. it isnt going to help me. crack a joke. make me smile. dont pity me.
this is kind of like a complicated sorry in advance...if i snap at you, or if i call you something, or if i just completely break down and am inconsolable anytime in the near future, it is not your fault. and there isnt anything you can do, so, i apologize. but this is whats happening right now:
Monday night, at around 11:00, a man knocked on the door to my uncles apartment. my aunt told him to go away. so he left, but came back with three other guys. they broke in through the back, and said they wanted "the drugs". they shot my uncle, and then my 16 year old cousin amy. they are both dead. out of the four men responsible, only two of them have been caught. on tuesday, they were arrested and arraigned for two counts of murder, each. it turns out they had the wrong address. they had the wrong house.
i watched the news yesterday, and the people who did this were behind screens in the courtroom, to "protect their rights". my family is dead. that was my blood pumping through those veins, mine. i watched them physically drag my cousin sean out of the courtroom, it took four police officers and two more waiting at the door to get him outside. and ive never been more proud of anyone in my life.
i want the people who did this to suffer. every day, for the rest of their miserable lives. and if bobby and kenny have it their way, neither one of those bastards are going to live long enough to see prison.
i dont really know what to do with myself. i spent entire summers with amy. as much as we fought, and as much as i said i hated her...i grew up with her. my uncle was like a second father to me...and jared. he had just survived a massive stroke, only to be killed in his own house?
ive been fed the "god wanted them" line so many fucking times now. what kind of god is this that people pray to? what kind of deity, or higher power, or divine fucking being gives a man a second chance at life, only to snatch it away again? what is that?
i hurt. so badly.
and i need my friends right now.